This (no shit) happened to me about a month ago and I've been letting it turn into a festering, homicidal ball of rage. So, naturally, I feel I can share it with you.
I was discussing something inane with my uncle and it was going something like like "Oh, this weather?" "Yeah, weather-
zzzsszzs" "Weather yeah,
zxzsssszzsszszs".
When my Aunt walks into the kitchen where we are talking and decides to get herself something to drink.
Something to know about Americans is that we don't use the word "Madam" no matter what. Unless we're referring to female prostitute wranglers in the 1920's and prior. HOWEVER. The word "Ma'am" is used regularly as a polite substitute.
My Aunt turns to me while she is getting something out of the fridge and says "Do you want something to drink?"
Me being the clever
jokester that I am, slap on my best 'British gentleman' voice and say "No, Thank you Madam. I'm fine."
(Five second pause.)
Uncle: Don't you call my wife a Madam.
Me: Sorry? (regular voice)
Uncle: Don't call her a Madam. It's rude.
Me: (a little confused) Rude? I was under the impression that was polite.
Uncle: Do you even know what that word means??
Me: Yes, its a word that is used to respectfully address older women. Like Senora in
spanish.
Uncle: No, It means whore.
Me: ...
Uncle: ...
It dawns on me at this point that he has no idea that it could possibly have a meaning other than the one he just told me. As if the word "madam" was designed specifically as a designate for hookers.
Me: The word "Ma'am" comes from the word "madam" and its widely accepted.
Uncle: "Ma'am" is fine, but don't you ever call my wife a madam again.
Me: You aren't being serious right? I mean, this is a joke?
Uncle: I'm not joking and can we just stop talking about it.
I know, He's family and I love him. But what the FUCK?! I had just left it alone at that point when I realized he would refuse to listen to reason.
People who are his age (in their 50's) should know things like this. Right? They shouldn't need a 20-something to explain it and then completely refuse to listen to a logical and at least marginally thought out explanation.
I blame the whole "redneck mentality". Having grown up away from all that, I developed what I like to consider closer to reality as opposed to an institutionalized view of the world. His whole environment is catered to similar ignorance. So, why should he be the different?
